Thinking Orange

Chap Clark made this statement, while offering some strong insights about creating a healthy structure within our families;

"Moms and dads need to see their parental role as a marathon, recognizing that building a relationship in which their child trusts them is even more important than whether they can trust their child regarding the immediate issues of the day".

Reggie Joiner commented on that statement by saying;

"Although it may seem intuitive, intentionality is required for consistency in my actions and relationships with my kids. It's ironic that sometimes my reaction to what I see as broken trust on their part can affect their confidence in me. The truth is that their trust in me is affected when I...

• discipline in anger
• use words that communicate rejection
• ignore their voices
• don't try to understand who they really are
• break my core promises"

For me, I notice that it easier to get hyper focused on my child's need to earn my trust and measure up to my expectation than it is for me to actively pursue building up their trust in me as their parent. The reason, I have discovered for that is this, to often I see myself as the mature one and they as the ones in development. I tend to get so absorbed with molding them into what they should be that I forget my need to develop consistency in how I respond to them.

To be honest with you, it has taken me a long time to finally own up to this aspect of my responsibility in the equation. It has taken me a long time to finally realize that...

• how trustworthy I am at this stage is more important for their growth than how trustworthy they are.

Listen to what The ReThink Group discovered;

"In interviews with hundreds of teenagers and college students, the wounds that go deepest are those connected to the issue of trust. When parents fight for the hearts of their children, they establish a lifestyle of proving that they can be trusted. Parents need to recognize how important it is to build trust with each of their children individually-It is the relational glue that seals intimacy and love."

If any aspect of this article has stirred your heart and/or challenged you as a parent, I encourage you to join our church as we begin the process of "THINKING ORANGE". It's more than just a church Sunday School curriculum, It's a strategy that connects the church and the family to make a lasting impact in the lives of our children.