Relational Influence

While preparing for a sermon about our need to connect with God and those around us. I was drawn to the passage in 2 Timothy 3 where Paul is equipping Timothy for the task of leading people. Paul says this:

2 Tim 3:1 (NKJV) But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:

Not exactly words of comfort, for sure. Not the kind of encouragement an up-and-coming pastor wants to hear. But Paul was equipping Timothy, and equipping requires there to be clarity. Equipping is the process of preparing a person for what lies ahead. And so after issuing that warning, Paul begins to list what those perilous times are going to look like.
• People will love only themselves and their money.
• They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God.
• They will be disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful.
• They will consider nothing sacred.
• They will be unloving and unforgiving.
• They will slander others and have no self-control.
• They will be cruel and have no interest in what is good.
• They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God.

What struck me at first was that the perilous times Paul was warning Timothy about were not wars, natural disasters and the judgments of God. They were all related to a relational breakdown between people and God or people and each other. Paul was warning Timothy that there was coming a time when relationally people would create an atmosphere and environment where the natural desire to connect with God and those around them would be challenged.

But, that’s not the worst of it. All that stuff Paul listed would be horrible enough if it was describing the prevailing picture of a generation of unbelievers. But that’s not what Paul had in mind. He goes on to say this in verse 5

2 Tim 3:5 (TEV) they will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power. Keep away from such people.

Paul was telling Timothy those people will call themselves Christians and even go to our churches and “DO” religious stuff. The King James Version says “they will have a form of godliness, but they will deny the power thereof”. Form but no power. They will look right but they will not be right. They will have the outward moves right but not do them for the right reason. And the reason for this disconnect is these people reject or deny the real power of the Christian life.

So what is that real power, and what does it mean to reject it?

Without getting long winded or wordy let me state what the real power is – It’s relational Influences.

That is what Paul calls Timothy’s attention to as he closes out this chapter. He calls Timothy to remember, and value the relational influences in his life.

Notice verses 10 – 11, Paul says, come on Timothy, you know what I teach, and how I live, and what my purpose in life is. You know my faith and how long I have suffered. You know my love and my patient endurance. You know how much persecution and suffering I have endured. You know all about how I was persecuted — but you also know Timothy that the Lord was faithful and that He has delivered me from all of it.

In verse 12 Paul challenges Timothy to value and pursue pleasing God even if it means suffering. And He even goes as far as to say you will suffer for wanting to relationally connect with God. Yes, Paul says - those who decide to please Christ Jesus by living godly lives will suffer at the hands of those who hate him

Then notice verses 14-15 Paul calls Timothy to remember the relational influences of his past. He tells Timothy, “you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you.

And then Paul concludes this chapter by illuminating for Timothy the intended influence that the Words of God should have in our lives. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right. It is God's way of preparing us in every way, fully equipped for every good thing God wants us to do.

As I finished reading this chapter in light of my understanding that it’s all about relational influences, it was like God took a huge weight off of me. It’s all about relational influences, and those are what I really want. I don’t need to worry about perilous times or suffering. I don’t need to fight against the culture or war against the trends of an unhealthy generation. I need to really connect with God and I need to really connect with those healthy believers and examples that God has brought around me.

What the church needs and what Paul was equipping Timothy to accomplish was to make, keep, guard and value our relational influences. Success or failure within the kingdom of God for each of us personally will be determined by them.

So the question is – who is influencing you? Because, the battle for our hearts and minds begins right there.

Clarity

Stephen Covey said: “Things which matter most, must never be at the mercy of things which matter least".

Think about that, the things that matter most must never be sacrificed or moved over for any reason. There should be no conflicts in our life that make choosing the things which don't matter even a possibility. There should be no competition for our time, money or talent. The things in our lives that matter most should get our best, every time. Our lives should promote and make it easy for us to focus on and choose those things that matter most.

One wise guy simplified it all when he said it like this: "The Main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing"

Look at the wisdom of Solomon as he clarifies this struggle: Ecclesiastes 7:13 (NLT) Notice the way God does things; then fall into line. Don't fight the ways of God, for who can straighten out what he has made crooked?

That sounds so simple doesn’t it? Find out what matters most and then - do it, live it, learn it, enjoy it, practice it, fund it, dream it, BECOME IT. Find out God's ways and get your life in line. Makes sense – Right? Sounds easy enough – right? On a piece of paper – the answer is yes. As I write it right now - It sounds so simple. But we all know it’s not.

The truth of the matter is this - all of us have found ourselves at one time or another fighting against God’s ways. We've found ourselves letting those things which don't matter very much at all to take us away from what really does matter. Now, not on purpose of course, because why would anyone purposely fight against the ways of God? The answer is – because we don’t know that’s what we're doing.

The reason it’s difficult to –“keep the main thing the main thing” is because we’re not exactly sure what the “main thing” really is. The reason we struggle to focus our time and energy on those areas that matters most is – we’re not clear what it is that “matters most”.

And the primary reason for all that confusion is:

• We’ve created way too complicated lives.
• We’ve allowed conflicting priorities to exist side by side.
• We’ve let the uncertainty of what we don’t know cloud out the clarity of what we do know.

Why do people choose things that matter least at the expense of those that matter most? The reason is they lack clarity.

To Illustrate this, let me make it real personal – This week My wife and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. What do you thing is the most important thing for me to do this week? If I get the opportunity to go golfing – My answer should be? If President Obama calls to fly me out to Washington DC to hear my opinion on the direction of the country, my answer should be? That’s called clarity. And, that is what we all need.

The answer to all the uncertainty and confusion in our lives is clarity. Clarity is what gives us the confidence to do what we need to do. To say what we need to say and to choose what we need to choose. When clarity is absent there will be fear and doubt in every step. When clarity is clouded or buried under a pile of obligations and regulations, we make bad decisions. We do dumb things that we look back on with regret.

So no matter how hard it is - get clarity in your life. Do whatever you have to do to make your life match your priorities. Then at least you will spend your time doing what you have decided matters most to you. And from there God can begin the work of helping you to get those priorities in line with His will.